At it’s core, leadership is simply influence. Remember, you don’t attract what you want; you attract who you are being!
Who’s in control as you navigate through your day? To what degree do you find yourself trying to control others while at the same time giving up control of yourself? “Nope, not me,” you’re thinking right now. Really? Do you ever use phrases like “he’s not doing his job;” or “she made me angry,” or “I could do a better job than that,” or “we ended January in the black so I’m happy.” Have you ever found yourself more concerned with being right in a conversation than experiencing and learning from the conversation? Maybe lose track of what someone is saying because you’re already thinking of your next response?
Ahhhh, so maybe it does happen more than you think. And, it’s also not uncommon and very normal for most leaders who aren’t interested in reaching their full potential. Wait, what?! Yes, you heard me. If you’re not interested in living your full potential, stop reading now. For those who ARE interested in living their full potential, living their best lives, with purpose and success….get comfortable in your chair, flip over your cellphone, stop multi-tasking, and lean in. Here’s the nugget: you can only control yourself. Your freedom lies within your choice to accept responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions….while giving up the desire/need to control those around you. No one, no event, no thing can “make” you think or feel a certain way. Your response to those stimuli is your choice. In every moment of every day, you have the ability to assess how you are showing up and decide if that’s really what you want. As you let go of the need to control others, and focus inward to your own self-awareness, you unlock your power to decide what is best for you and what is best for your situation.
In the recent HBR article, Finding the Right Balance – and Flexibility – in Your Leadership, the authors cite Cognitive Self-awareness as a key to developing your leadership sweet range of performance. The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identifies Awareness as the first of ten core disciplines for high conscious and high performance living. Simply put, self awareness is seeing what is truly happening in the moment compared to what you believe or assume is happening…it’s objective not interpretive. It’s understanding the difference between truth and Truth.
How to leverage Awareness so that you can perform and live to your full potential? FLIP THE SCRIPT. Focus inward, not outward. Accept that you own your thoughts and feelings, not everyone or everything else. Make conscious choices of how you want to think and feel as you navigate through your day; let go of judging or labeling others, let go of the desire/need to be right or to control others. The freedom you experience will be astonishing! You’ll experience more joy, peace, fulfillment; less stress, anger, and frustration. It starts with YOU, literally. Commit today to Flip the Script in your life choices!
The best leaders communicate effectively and often with their teams and stakeholders. This involves more than a routine email. Truly effective and relationship building communication requires a two-way, closed loop, anabolic approach. It also requires authenticity. You may think you can fake sincerity but people can see through it, even if they aren’t telling you. Author Libby Seery identifies the key traits for every leader to embrace to improve their ability to connect and communicate (see graphic). The top 5 I suggest you adopt today are also in the foundation of anabolic energy.Be Relaxed – release any tension, stress, catabolic energy you may feel in the moment; take deep breaths, go for a walk, look at a favorite picture.Listen – actively listen to what the person is saying, observe their facial expression, their body language. Acknowledge and confirm what you are hearing to let them know that you are present with them.Empathy – before jumping to conclusions or forming your own interpretation of what is being said, look at the situation from the other person’s vantage point. Ask yourself, “what’s another way to look at this?”Open-Minded – no matter what your own opinion is on the topic at hand, entertain that there are other options and possibilities.Respectful – speak with people not at them. Stay in the moment, avoid distractions, be authentic, use the person’s name as you acknowledge what they’re saying or when you are asking questions.
You don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are being…remember? Lead by example, walk the talk! These are simple principles and all you have to do is choose to make the change. It begins with YOU.Connect with me to learn more about Energy Leadership, effective communication, and performing at your full potential!
Begin your Awareness Journey today! Take the ELI Assessment to find out your unique mix of energies that show up when you are under stress and when you are experiencing a routine day. This attitudinal assessment gives you valuable insight that is 100% within your control to adjust as you desire. Your next first step to performing at your full potential is one click away.
Leadership & Potentials Fulfillment Catalyst
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